Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
