Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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