I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
