I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
