Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
