So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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