You just made me feel so damn special
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
