i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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