Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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