There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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