he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
