my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
