You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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