mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Randomize
