remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
