My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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