Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
