i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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