Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
