i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
