States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
