shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
