I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
