it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
