My hand turned me down
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
