sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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