I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
