I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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