You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
