BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
