watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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