turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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