I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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