Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
