so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
