I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
dude. I can hear the air.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
