Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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