rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
