im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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