Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
