my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
