I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I need a beard to bite.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
