love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
