My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
im six kinds of drunk right now
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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