You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize