My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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