Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
