i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You're a waste of cheezeits
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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