I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
