No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
